I lend everybody my ear But no one my heart I thought I’d like to change that But I didn’t know where to start I smile more to myself Than anyone would ever see Because the only time my smile is real Is when am with just me People don’t know how I feel They can’t see past my mask If they were with me at night When the world is still asleep Maybe then I’d let them sort Through the secrets that I keep But when I wake up before dawn Nobody is ever there but HIM And I learnt what I hide in my heart Is only for me and Christ to speak
For each forgotten kiss For all the memories that I miss For all the times we spent alone Whatever happened was to happen It didn’t last and it wasn’t a must You played your part oh so well A classic modern day Juliet Burning with passionate desire But you left me in the pouring rain Now all I feel is the pain
I’ve been told that I give really bad hugs It’s as if I’m trying to run away Sometimes its because I am I get really nervous secretely When someone gets close enough to hear me breathe I have this odd fascination for sand castles That’s because I usually find myself dedicated to things That only last a few moments I kinda like it because it often reminds me That I’m not afraid of relationships falling But I’m afraid of what’s gonna happen When my body touches the ground I’m clumsy, yesterday I tripped over my self esteem And landed with a thud on my pride And it shuttered like an iPhone with a broken face Now I can’t even tell who’s trying to give me a compliment I’ve never been in the military But I have this purple heart I got it from beating myself up Over things I can’t fix I know this sounds weird But sometimes I wonder what my bedsheets say About me when I’m not around I wonder what the curtains would do If they find out about all the things I have done behind their backs I got a hamper that is overflowing With really loud mistakes And a closet that holds much more than it can take My name is Kenjones I enjoy good food and watching people laugh for no reason at all But I never allow myself to cry as often as I need to I have solar powered confidence A battery operated smile And my hobbies include editing my life’s story Hiding behind metaphors And trying to convince my shadow That I’m worth following That’s me… Who are you?
Hushed whispers in the shadows Black smoke hissing from the earth The blowing wind carrying bad news The hand holding the dagger is steady The gun’s aim to the heart is locked Hugs deathly like a murderous actress Demons feeding on my fear of losing her Her music a hidden agenda of abuse I couldn’t breathe when the tide took us out to sea But you, you turned around and swam away Left me to drown and went on without me I had it all, at the top of my game Or even more, now who is to say I’d built a wall, and I built it tall I thought it would keep what’s dear to me But I saw you shed your old self And as I swam towards shore I was certain That you’d be the next thing I’d lose
I admit it, I’m afraid to love Not just love but to love you You are a stunning mystery You carry things deep inside you That one is yet to understand And I, I’m afraid to fail like the rest You are like the vast ocean I’m just a guy who loves the waves But is terrified to swim
I get attached easily That’s my insecurity, my disability So don’t tell me to stop confusing you I couldn’t be more confused myself I want to have a future with you But I don’t think you fit into my present I know you are beautiful But I’m still stuck at pretty I know you deserve to be chased Like any other classy lady I’m sure I want you as my meal But I don’t want to get attached to the hunt I understand a real man knows what he wants And that I need to make up my mind I’m just being honest with you I’m insecure about making the wrong choice I hate my insecurities for keeping me From falling for you But I don’t want to fall in love with you Just to be more insecure