I can’t tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
It’s like walking right on the edge
Then you get shoved from behind
Left to drown over and over again
In the endless sea of your own mind
It’s like being buried up to your neck
Like handing a loaded gun to your enemy
Like the reaper just came your way
And all you can do is stare
As though the world was meant to destroy you
It feels like swallowing barbed wire
And have it pulled back up
Yes, it hurts that deep
So what do you do?
You keep all that in a box
A box you lock and stay out of
That’s what you hide from yourself
And from everyone else too
If you can’t see it, they won’t either
Because everybody looks
But not everyone sees
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We think about each other too often
Caught up somewhere in between
Passionate lovers & intimate friends
Alone, we had quiet beautiful moments
Which had us both silently thinking
The very same thing, maybe this is love
What a massive plot twist you were
And I, I was never really quite sure
Whether you were the lighthouse
Or the raging storm stirring inside
What made you so breathtaking babe
Is that we were never likely to happen
Because deep down we all knew the truth
We were secretly in love with each other
And just had to leave it at that
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Do you know
Do you understand
That you represent Jesus to me
That when you treat me with gentleness
It raises the question in my mind
That maybe He is gentle too
That maybe He isn’t someone
Who laughs when I am hurt
That when you listen to my questions
And you don’t laugh at them
I think, What if Jesus is interested in me too?
That when you talk about arguments
And conflicts from your past
I think, Maybe I’m just a regular person
Instead of a bad, no-good spoiled brat
Who deserves all the misery he gets
If you care about me
I think maybe He cares too
And then there is this flame of hope
That burns on the inside of me
And for a certain while
I am afraid to breathe
Because it might go out
Do you know
Do you understand
That your words are His words
That your face, His face
To someone like me
Please be who you say you are
Please, God, don’t let this be another trick
Please let this be real
Please
Because you represent Jesus to me
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A man of words and not of deeds
Is like a garden full of weeds
And when the weeds begin to crawl
It’s like a bird upon the wall
And when the bird away does fly
It’s like an eagle up in the sky
And when the sky begins to roar
It’s like a lion right at the door
And when the door begins to crack
It’s like a stick across your back
And when your back begins to smart
It’s like a knife inside your heart
And when your heart begins to bleed
You are dead & dead & dead indeed
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I woke up very sad today
It feels as though I will never smile again
And I cannot fully explain to you
The source of this terrible sadness
If I could articulate what I feel
It’s like all colour was drained from earth
And the water was no longer wet
Though the sun rose, it did not shine
My lungs are breathing, but i can’t get air
What scares me the most is that lately
Everyday feels exactly the same
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You always want to know why I love youYou ask like you don't deserve itLike the demons inside already wonYou're wrong, and I'll tell you whyYou've hidden everything for all these yearsAnd nobody ever tried to get past your wallNot seriously anyway, until I didI love you because I've seen youI've felt the things you keep locked awayAnd I love you for how well you contain it allI will always be by your sideBecause I've seen what's inside
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I know we met at the wrong time
Maybe we won’t be together in our destiny
Maybe our paths are different
Maybe I made some connections with you
Maybe in those special moments
You colored my life for me
You were the sunshine for me
But there was always a possibility
Of me not loving you forever
So I’ll always remember your shadow
And try to find it in my future soulmate
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Don’t ask me how I feel
I will never admit anything
Stop waiting for my words
I’m not good at talking
Don’t expect any love letters
I have to stay hidden
Just feel how I kiss you
Notice how I play with your hair
The whispers of fake ‘I hate you’
The way I stare into your hazel eyes
I know you know the answer
Even before you start asking
Maybe you just need assurance
So you’ll stop guessing
The Way 🇰🇪 